Open Letter To A Favorite "Nurse" On Holiday

Dearest Cheesehead,

I hope you are enjoying your well deserved vacation after a long stint at Anthony's Bar and No Grill. Your service to man and country has not gone unnoticed. As promised I've prepared a checklist of bars for you to check out while vacationing in my adopted city.

My mass intoxication is spread primarily over the same handful of neighborhoods. Find them and all my riches shall be yours.

BALLARD (bus 15)

King's Hardware: Humans males and females of your age, skee-ball, and an outdoor patio. Ask the bouncer if he is the "Legend of Ballard" (or Tod) and that you know me. This probably won't do anything but do it anyway.

The Smokeshop: The Tony's of Seattle. Obviously you need to go. Seek the Goddess Darlene and mention you work at the T. Street cred awaits you.

Matador: After 10pm cheap eats, classy (by my standards, not Seattle's).

Hazelwood: Small. Schlitz in a can. Do it.

Market Arms: Fairly new English style place. I've only been once but it was alright.

Sloop Tavern: Like your place of employment on a Friday night. On a Friday night.


BALLARD/FREMONT DMZ

Hale's Ales: Brewery so go earlier. Have a Supergoose. Staff will trade you the shirt off their back for a Sarah Pale tee if you have one. Literally. Good $5 happy hour nibbles.

"4 B's": Across the street from Hale's. Pool and games. And PBR. A Windex playground.

The Shelter: F-wording meat market but cozy. Makes me feel unattractive and that's almost impossible.

Tin Man: On 65th. If you can't go to Portland, go here. Freak.

FREMONT (bus 28)

Red Door: Kinda college, kinda not. Best staff I know.

Dubliner: Another bar that reminds me of George & Pattie's with a St. Patrick's twist. I've been here more than any other.

Ballroom: F-wording meat market with the disco dancing. The Mecca without broke arse fishermen and wannabe thugs.

Pacific Inn Pub: Small. Get the fish and chips. Cook tried to buy my Tony's hoodie off me there.

CAPITOL HILL (close to downtown, cab it) 

Not my hood but my friend "Dutch Harbor Molly" would make an excellent guide here.


DOWNTOWN

J&M: My standby when I was a 20something and not a 40nothing. Only Pioneer Square spot I go to regularly.

Pyramid Ale House: Brewery. Worked there when I was....younger. Across the street from the baseball stadium.

Shorty's: Pinball and punk arses. My Seatown homeboy's favorite place.Schlitz in a can. Do it.

Vela: Hit and miss, hard to find, hot chicks if you are into that. Go after 11pm and not a minute sooner.

Umi: Get the crunchy sushi. Better than sex.


Well I could probably come up with two dozen more but this should help for your limited time there. I expect a full report upon your return. Good luck and good fishing.

El Sandinista de la Rainier

Nix Pix NFL Week 5

Last Week: 2-1

Season Total: 4-6-2

That's right, I didn't write anything last week. Just laid down my three and walked away. Doubled my win total. Take that, overthinking! Actually I'm just lazy. Not working, not doing anything of any worth, getting drunk, throwing my life away. Awesome. Nobody told me being 40 would be this fulfilling. To think, I lived in fear of this milestone for all of my 39th year only to find the half empty part of the glass is the sweet spot. I'll continue my streak of contributing nothing to humanity by posting videos from three of my favorite cable shows.

NY Jets -9 @ New England

Squidbillies. Rotting my mind like squid on that ship they just busted sittin' in Dutch. And I only discovered this program within the week. Early reminds me of Rex Ryan. Talkin' loud and sayin' nuttin.

Nick' Pick: PATRIOTS

Oakland -6 @ Houston

The League. New season starts tonight. And nothing says murder boner like the silver and black deep in the heart of Texas. Tell me Ruxin's brother-in-law isn't in the Black Hole every Sunday.

Nick's Pick: RAIDERS


Chicago @ Detroit -5

Monday Night Football. Since it is on ESPN now it is a cable program and yes, I only like Squidbillies and The League. TV sucks. Now feast your eyes on this!

F-wording goosebumps. 

Nick's Pick: LIONS

Killer Sound

This orca tries getting his mack on with a skiff. Not sure where this is from but I like it.

City Election

With all the focus on the contested races yesterday and this morning Kodiak ignored the pointless city races. In fact both local media outlets failed to post stats until I bitched. KMXT posted the results just before supper. I found this interesting: 

City Council (uncontested)

Terry Haines 555

Randall Bishop 436

Write-ins 37 

Is that a vote of no confidence for Randy before dude has sat in the chair? Or is it racist? Or is that the POWER of the Boycott the Mecca movement. Are the geezers player hating on the 23-year old?  

As for this...

City Mayor (uncontested)

Pat Branson 586

Write-ins 48 

El Sandinista 2013! 

Do you ever wish you just didn't give a shit?

Sometimes I think it sure would be nice not to care about elections or political parties or human rights in a Third-World country or how ginormous corporations are raping the world and killing its people to line their investors' pockets. It'd be nice to just shrug off any talk about the borough assembly or the city council and what stupid ass things they're up to. Or to not even care if what they're up to is stupid ass. To not even be aware of it.

Alas, such is not my lot in life.

Wonder if I have 90 Days Leave Available?

Because this shiz sounds like a good deal. And it's more money than I make now. May have to fight El Sandinista! for the job, because it's a shiite-load more than he's making right now.

The Alaska State Senate is looking for individuals who are interested and available to work as a Legislative Page for the 2012 legislative session. Legislative Page positions are employed from just prior to the beginning of the legislative session to a few days after adjournment. The 2012 legislative session will begin Tuesday, January 17th and continue through April 15th. The starting salary for a page position is $3134.00 per month. All monthly paid employees receive full medical, retirement and leave benefits.

Pirok-luk

For some reason (cheap) I didn't pull the trigger on attending the Sun'aq Tribal Center's "pirok-luk" but after reading about in the Mirror today I really regret missing it. 210 people smarter than I attended this fundraiser for the B-Boy Island Breakers Crew, the native youth dancing group. OK, I made that up, don't know the real name. Anywho, they plan to make in an annual event so I'll get a second chance in a year's time although I doubt I can wait that long. You should be able to get pirok every day here in Kodiak. No more taco stands. We need a pirok truck. Pfukinoff Pirok and Poppers! Get out the way, Martha, get out the way.

Nix Pix NFL Week 4

Last Week: 1-1-1
Season Total: 2-5-2



Detroit +2.5 @ Dallas

Nick's Pick: LIONS



Buffalo -3 @ Cincinnati

Nick's Pick: BILLS



NY Jets @ Baltimore

Nick's Pick: RAVENS

Do Yard Signs = Votes?

If so, then Mel Stephens, who was once thrown out by the voters, is the de facto frontrunner in Tuesday's borough assembly election. Because he not only has the most election signs out there, he pretty much has the only signs out there.

Dave Kaplan and Judy Fulp best start protecting their best interest, because one or both of them are about to get unelected.

Amazingly not annoyed

My new coffee maker, a Black and Decker perhaps made from recycled sawsall parts, made it's debut pot today with no problems.

No cooked plastic taste, carafe poured without drips and there was no fire. All things that have vexed former pots I've owned.

Thank you Black and Decker for making such a fine home appliance.


This post brought to you by sweet sweet French Roast goodness.