No Mo' Weather Repo'ts

Sorry I've been gone but I gave up blogging for Russian Ramadan. Only Patrick reads our crap anyway....ANYWAY what is the deal at the Mirror doing stories about the weather all the time? Three inches of snow is hardly unusual in November or the typical gale warning. C'mon, man. This isn't San Diego. Here are the rules of reporting on weather in Kodiak:

Wind: Gotta blow triple digits otherwise it's just another storm. No stories until Dorothy's panties get itchy. OK? 

Rain: 2 inches within 24 hours or $200 on to the main stage at the Bush Company. Thunder and lightening are a maybe.

Snow: A foot in a day. Snow may not be an island specialty but until the Rock is moved to Puget Sound snow isn't that impressive. And that's a foot at the 50 yard line at Baranof Park, not some berm coming off the roof of the gear shed yall call an office. 

Sun: Any sighting of the sunshine is acceptable. If it hits 80 degrees. 

Other Acts of Jebus: Not weather so they are fair game HOWEVER earthquakes should be rolling a 5.0 on the Lionel Richie scale. Funnel cloud sightings are once a decade I'd guess so go for it. Hell, make one up and scare mudderphutters. Tsunamis are always legit but when they wash up measuring mere inches just say nothing happened. Because nothing happened. Mudslides only when they make contact with manmade crap. Not womanmade crap. Forest fires....yeah, right.

Northern Lights: Only for color photographs and acid flashbacks. 

We know these stories are filler but most of us have windows in ur homes and know what's going on outside. Except I'm in balmy Seattle so if you do keep posting weather stories know I'm the only one reading them.