I don't like horror movies but for reasons beyond my control I was dragged into Rusty's Funhouse to see this flick The Woman In Black. Being that it is rated PG-13 I figured it must be pretty weak by slasher standards. No bed wetting for El Sandinista! Come on over, ladies!
The main character is played by Daniel Radcliffe who if he was in Jackass would be Danny Radcliff. But let's face it. Dude is Harry Potter. I said this to myself for the first half hour of the movie. That's Harry Potter. That's Harry Potter. That's Harry Potter. He plays a lawyer in f-wording England about 100 years ago who ends up going to a haunted house on Frye Point. Ghosts, blah blah blah, things jumping out, etc. Whateva. Nothing special.
I was in the balcony for this one and like half the time I go the noisiest f-tards go up there. You'd think if you pay more the riff raff would stay downstairs but it seems to have the wide receiver diva effect on teens who make it up the stairs. The chick in front of me is lucky I don't carry piano wire in my pocket. And that she smelled good. The individual next to me had some kind of nervous leg spasm thing going on shaking the whole row. I literally thought we were having a tremor for a few minutes and kept spying the emergency exits. Probably didn't help I had a dream about a tsunami the night before. I'm sure a good elbow would have brought the Richter scale back down to zero. I think Rusty should take out all the seats up there except two and rent out the balcony to the 1%ers for $99.75. That way you can watch the movie with your date undisturbed. In fact, put a bed up there, too.
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