I hope you are enjoying your well deserved vacation after a long stint at Anthony's Bar and No Grill. Your service to man and country has not gone unnoticed. As promised I've prepared a checklist of bars for you to check out while vacationing in my adopted city.
My mass intoxication is spread primarily over the same handful of neighborhoods. Find them and all my riches shall be yours.
BALLARD (bus 15)
King's Hardware: Humans males and females of your age, skee-ball, and an outdoor patio. Ask the bouncer if he is the "Legend of Ballard" (or Tod) and that you know me. This probably won't do anything but do it anyway.
The Smokeshop: The Tony's of Seattle. Obviously you need to go. Seek the Goddess Darlene and mention you work at the T. Street cred awaits you.
Matador: After 10pm cheap eats, classy (by my standards, not Seattle's).
Hazelwood: Small. Schlitz in a can. Do it.
Market Arms: Fairly new English style place. I've only been once but it was alright.
Sloop Tavern: Like your place of employment on a Friday night. On a Friday night.
BALLARD/FREMONT DMZ
Hale's Ales: Brewery so go earlier. Have a Supergoose. Staff will trade you the shirt off their back for a Sarah Pale tee if you have one. Literally. Good $5 happy hour nibbles.
"4 B's": Across the street from Hale's. Pool and games. And PBR. A Windex playground.
The Shelter: F-wording meat market but cozy. Makes me feel unattractive and that's almost impossible.
Tin Man: On 65th. If you can't go to Portland, go here. Freak.
FREMONT (bus 28)
Red Door: Kinda college, kinda not. Best staff I know.
Dubliner: Another bar that reminds me of George & Pattie's with a St. Patrick's twist. I've been here more than any other.
Ballroom: F-wording meat market with the disco dancing. The Mecca without broke arse fishermen and wannabe thugs.
Pacific Inn Pub: Small. Get the fish and chips. Cook tried to buy my Tony's hoodie off me there.
CAPITOL HILL (close to downtown, cab it)
Not my hood but my friend "Dutch Harbor Molly" would make an excellent guide here.
DOWNTOWN
J&M: My standby when I was a 20something and not a 40nothing. Only Pioneer Square spot I go to regularly.
Pyramid Ale House: Brewery. Worked there when I was....younger. Across the street from the baseball stadium.
Shorty's: Pinball and punk arses. My Seatown homeboy's favorite place.Schlitz in a can. Do it.
Vela: Hit and miss, hard to find, hot chicks if you are into that. Go after 11pm and not a minute sooner.
Umi: Get the crunchy sushi. Better than sex.
Well I could probably come up with two dozen more but this should help for your limited time there. I expect a full report upon your return. Good luck and good fishing.
El Sandinista de la Rainier
My mass intoxication is spread primarily over the same handful of neighborhoods. Find them and all my riches shall be yours.
BALLARD (bus 15)
King's Hardware: Humans males and females of your age, skee-ball, and an outdoor patio. Ask the bouncer if he is the "Legend of Ballard" (or Tod) and that you know me. This probably won't do anything but do it anyway.
The Smokeshop: The Tony's of Seattle. Obviously you need to go. Seek the Goddess Darlene and mention you work at the T. Street cred awaits you.
Matador: After 10pm cheap eats, classy (by my standards, not Seattle's).
Hazelwood: Small. Schlitz in a can. Do it.
Market Arms: Fairly new English style place. I've only been once but it was alright.
Sloop Tavern: Like your place of employment on a Friday night. On a Friday night.
BALLARD/FREMONT DMZ
Hale's Ales: Brewery so go earlier. Have a Supergoose. Staff will trade you the shirt off their back for a Sarah Pale tee if you have one. Literally. Good $5 happy hour nibbles.
"4 B's": Across the street from Hale's. Pool and games. And PBR. A Windex playground.
The Shelter: F-wording meat market but cozy. Makes me feel unattractive and that's almost impossible.
Tin Man: On 65th. If you can't go to Portland, go here. Freak.
FREMONT (bus 28)
Red Door: Kinda college, kinda not. Best staff I know.
Dubliner: Another bar that reminds me of George & Pattie's with a St. Patrick's twist. I've been here more than any other.
Ballroom: F-wording meat market with the disco dancing. The Mecca without broke arse fishermen and wannabe thugs.
Pacific Inn Pub: Small. Get the fish and chips. Cook tried to buy my Tony's hoodie off me there.
CAPITOL HILL (close to downtown, cab it)
Not my hood but my friend "Dutch Harbor Molly" would make an excellent guide here.
DOWNTOWN
J&M: My standby when I was a 20something and not a 40nothing. Only Pioneer Square spot I go to regularly.
Pyramid Ale House: Brewery. Worked there when I was....younger. Across the street from the baseball stadium.
Shorty's: Pinball and punk arses. My Seatown homeboy's favorite place.Schlitz in a can. Do it.
Vela: Hit and miss, hard to find, hot chicks if you are into that. Go after 11pm and not a minute sooner.
Umi: Get the crunchy sushi. Better than sex.
Well I could probably come up with two dozen more but this should help for your limited time there. I expect a full report upon your return. Good luck and good fishing.
El Sandinista de la Rainier
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