Roller Derby Rock Something

Now you'd think a four-star perv such as myself would be all over this roller derby thing coming to Kodiak but no. Not even slightly interested. Throw in on of my fav bar nurses and still no go. Why? Time to think aloud.

Kodiak is boring this time a year and if you don't like killing things for protein it call be dull 12 months a year so I understand people wanting to jump on this. But after a pair of winters in Seattle and seeing this down there this strikes me as a fad. A fads have no future. I don't mind being wrong but I just don't see this taking off. But it is better than playing HOLIDAY songs with bells. I think even Tebow might say STFU to that clanging. OK, I'm kidding because only Patrick reads this blog and Wetsy will kick my arse.

Now if this rollerskate combat thing does move forward successfully I think under Title IX we need a male sport counterpart. That sport is synchronized swimming. I'm sure those sexy beasts on Jock of the Rock and a few other random dudes would go for this. Put that newish pool to some use. Maybe we could get Ian Fulp to let us bring a beer pig of Sarah Pale in there during practice. Picture eight of Kodiak's most wanted in banana hammocks man boob deep in the shallow end all in one fluid motion to the sounds of Slayer or Mastadon.

I SAID PICTURE IT OR I KILL YOU. YOU DIE EITHER WAY.