Nix Pix NFL Week 1

I'm back. Took a year off picking games wrong but it just didn't feel right so once again I'm butchering my bank account with the help of the 32 team that make up the National Football League. For internet purposes I'm maintaining the same system as before: picking three games a week with the hope of going 3 for 3 about four or five times over the course of the season. So yes, I could have a losing record and still make money if I actually lived in Vegas and did this on the regular. But I don't I'm broke. I fished pinks. I'd have done better racing for pinks in my parents' PT Cruiser but whateva. In two weeks I'll be in Seatown fishing for a sugar mama. 

Pittsburgh +1.5 at Baltimore

I could have gone easy and skipped this game. OK, I couldn't go easy, they are all hard to pick this week but the Steelers owe me. You see the last time I wagered on a game was at the ratty arse Gold Coast in Lost Wages, NV when they gave me three points where the other casinos we holding at 2.5 vs The Pack in XLV. I figured the league was rigged in their favor having seen them luck by the Seahawks and Cardinals in recent Super Bowl history and the rapist would get another ring for his sticky fingers. Best $100 I ever lost. But they still owe me. This game should come down to the wire against The Wire but the forces of DWTS are with the black and yellow. 

Nick's Pick: See VIDEO

Cincinnati @ Cleveland -6.5

Is it a coincidence that the new Kodiak Police Department is the same colors as the Cincinnati Bengals? Hells no. If TC named the new jail the Cedric Benson Lounge I wouldn't even blink. I'm not sure why KPD's still fresh headquarters has a megablast of orange in the design. Perhaps to make the coasties tossed in the drunk tank feel more at home? I think so. Of course the Browns sport the same shade of citrus but Holmgren's Bitches don't carry the same legal system baggage. And with Carson "Missing Daily" Palmer "retired" I really don't think Sin Sin stands a chance. Side note: I almost always pick this match-up for Week One and get it wrong.

Nick's Pick: Browns

Dallas @ NY Jets -5.5

Usually I wait until my season record is something like 9-23 before I start going against who I think will win but why wait? With the radar off 'Merica Team for once I think they actually could have a ten win season. I apologize to my family for saying anything good about Dallas. I wasn't raised that way. Anyway, I like the Boyz in this game so I'm taking Rex Grossestman and his New Jersey Jets. GQB Mark Sanchez better not make me wrong about being wrong but probably will.


Nick's Pick: J-E-T-S