So how does someone (me) who goes out more nights a week than stays home and spends the GNP of Rhode Island on drinks not consider himself (me) an alcoholic? By any other definition I should have a room next to Charlie Sheen at Betty Ford or at least legally change my name to Norm Peterson so why do I not consider myself addicted to booze?
Easy. I don't drink scotch.
I learned a few things this summer about scotch but mainly that it is filtered with charcoal in a manner than takes out impurities and thus is less likely to cause a hang over. Is this true? Haven't got Timmothy Ferriss to test this yet but I believe it. And since 'Mericans seem to love the stuff why don't I?
First of all it tastes like gasoline to me. I can sip most things but scotch straightens my pig tails. And it just doesn't seem right to mix it in cola. Knock me down a few Man Points if you must but I'd sooner spray WD-40 in my mouth than pour myself a glass of Glenlivet.
Another reason is class warfare. This is doctors/lawyers schmitt. I'm 12oz can guy.
Then there is price. I'm cheap. It ain't. I have trouble splurging for a fifth of Crown so there is no way I'm spending three more dollars for a bottle of whiskey from Scotland. So long as there is a Canada that is where my juice will come from.
But I'd like to get there. Believe me, nothing would make me prouder than being a real alcoholic in the eyes of my parents and peers. Sadly the Joe Beer Drinker thing isn't going to get me to the promise land so until I make six figures and can get used to the taste I'll probably never fulfill my potential. Sigh.
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