Nix Pix NFL Week 3

Last Week :1-1-1

Season Record: 1-4-1

Tomorrow I relocate to my secret base in Seattle so I need to crank this out before I put my Nix Pix in a box. I'm glad I'm getting out of here so I don't have to take anymore abuse over the Seahawks and can take refuge with my own kind. So let me turn this around on you, Kodiak. Let me tell you what I find pathetic. The City election is a walk in not just for mayor but for both council seats as well. Seriously? Nobody is going to step to the plate? Let's look at the mess we have shall we?

Detroit -3 @ Minnesota

Take the Vikings who go from old arse Brett Favre to old arse Donovan McNabb. This is like our mayoral situation trading one old white woman for another. But at least the quarterbacks didn't raise lunch on seniors from five bucks to seven. That's a 28% hike. What's next? Feed the elders Alpo? Guess what she'll do to your taxes if she gets the tiebreaker vote. There is silver and black in her veins I tell you. Maybe I should pull a Murkowski and cancel my trip. Do you want Pat leading you in the fourth quarter vomiting thru her facemask on the field with the future on the line? Do you want 90% of city funding going to the arts and highbrow movies? Do you want all city streets speed limits dropped to 10mph?  Didn't think so. F-word it, write me in.

Nick's Pick: LIONS

San Francisco @ Cincinnati -2.5

Jerry Springer was mayor of Cincinnati once. Remember that and write my arse in, bitches. Terry Haines, Fishhead mudderphutter and Niners fan. He didn't rib me after Week One so I'm going to spare his pubic hairdo, boy band hat, and pink iPod today. He's served before and did okay I guess but he still should have competition at least. He's the Alex Smith of this election. OK, I said I wasn't going to insult him. My bad. Maybe his team should have term limits on the QB position.

Nick's Pick: 49ERS

Kansas City @ San Diego -14.5

This leaves me with the 23-year old kid. I've always been in favor of youth in local government so that's not my problem with dude. It's his business. I'm entering my 50th month Mecca free and yet I can't feel good about this knowing this disease of an establishment will have a seat at the table. The Scrounge Lounge is probably responsible for half the police calls on a Friday night so is this a plan to get the pigs off his back? Hmmmm. Smart! But like jacking up meal fees on social security types, the cover charge at the 'Ca is insulting as it is a rip off. So if you can't manage a crappy nightclub how the hell are you going to run a town of 6600 people? Will he take on the CHARR and go for a citywide smoking ban? Will you have to pay three bucks to pay your water bill in person? Do I have to fly Wolfboy and Pizza Chris back to start Boycott The Government? Oh, and the Chiefs lost their star running back.

Nick's Pick: CHARGERS